It looks like you're not coming from MTurk. This survey will only be a test. Group1 - Part2

SURVEY 2 / 5

Task: Each of the following jokes is missing the punchline, a funny line finishing the joke. Following each joke preamble are five possible endings. Please pick the one you think is the "funny" ending. Please answer each question as quickly as possible.

The neighborhood borrower approached Mr. Smith on Saturday and asked, "Say, Smith, are you using your lawnmower this afternoon?" "Yes, I am," Smith replied warily. The neighborhood borrower said:
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A ship is cruising in the Caribbean. One day, a girl falls overboard and her father screams: "I'll give half my fortune to the person who saves her." A fellow jumps in and saves the girl. The father says, "I'll keep my promise. Here's half my fortune." The fellow replies:
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A guy walks into a bar and demands to know "Who's the strongest in here?" The toughest guy looks at him and says "I am the strongest around here!" The other guy politely asks,
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A U.S. airline executive, following government requirements, installed smoke detectors in the cargo area of planes. A spokesperson for the airline commented:
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A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire." The friend replies, "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replies:
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A guy is in a bar trying to begin a relationship with a girl. After they have talked for a while, he asks her for her phone number. "It's in the phone book," she says. "Fine," he answers, "What's your last name?"
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A young man hired by a supermarket reported to his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager.
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A man walks into a supermarket and buys: 1 bar of soap, 1 apple, 1 roll of toilet tissue, a single serving of cereal, and 1 pint of milk. The girl at the check out looks at him and says, "Single, aren't you?" The man replies very sarcastically, "How did you guess?" She says,
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An 8 year-old girl went to her dad and asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father is a little surprised by the question, and gives her a detailed explanation. The girl looks at him with her mouth hanging open, and the father asks, "Why did you ask this question?" The girl replies,
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As a man was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 28. Please be careful!" "Geez," said Herman,
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Two men were riding on a train for the very first time. They had brought along bananas to eat on the trip. Just as they intended to eat the bananas, the train entered a dark tunnel. "Have you eaten your banana yet?" cried the first man. "No," replied his friend. "Well don't touch it!" warned the first man...
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A famous French mime died of a cerebral hemorrhage, the school he founded confirmed today. The doctor said:
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Martha walked into a pastry shop. After surveying all the pastries, she decided on a chocolate pie. "I'll take that one," Martha said to the attendant, "the whole thing." "Shall I cut it into four or eight pieces?" the attendant asked.
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A man went to an eye doctor and asked, "Doctor, will I be able to read after getting my glasses?" "Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not?" The man says:
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A worried patient tells the doctor that he is still exhausted when he gets home from work. "Don't worry," said the doctor. "Just have a drink to wake you up." "But last week you told me to give up drinking," said the patient. "Well," the doctor replied:
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On his first flight while learning to skydive, a man nervously anticipated his first jump, so he said to his instructor, "I packed the parachute myself, but I'm sure it won't open." The instructor says,
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A woman decides to prepare her will. She tells her lawyer she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second she wanted her ashes scattered all over the local mall. "Why the mall?" asked the lawyer. She replied,
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Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" The attorneys looked at each other and
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A boy from New York was being led through the swamps of Florida. "Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?" asked the boy. The guide replied:
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Two dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter. One says: "My dog is so smart that every morning, he waits for the paperboy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me. "I know..." replies the other,
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Mr. Miller and Mr. Wilson were at the auto show and began to talk about their children. Touching a shiny new car on the fender, Mr. Miller said, "Your son drives like lightning, doesn't he?" and Mr. Wilson answered:
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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied:
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A tenant had not paid his room rent for several weeks. Tomorrow was his last chance to pay his rent before the landlord would kick him out. "See here," the landlord said, "I'll meet you half way. I'm ready to forget half of what you owe me."
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A woman is taking a shower. All of a sudden the doorbell rings. She yells, "Who is there?" and a man answers, "Blind man." She is a charitable lady, so she runs out of the shower naked and opens the door.
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A neighborhood kid was looking to earn money. He knocked on the door of one house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for him to do. "Well, you can paint my porch," he said, and handed the boy a can of red paint and a brush. The boy was eager to work, and the man went inside. 2 hours later, the boy knocked on the door again and said "I'm done painting, but I've got to tell you,
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